i hate it when flies fucking rub their stupid little shitty hands together like they’re plotting to ruin my life those tiny little bastards
- tumblr beginner: Tumblr occupies the time that could be spent on friends and family.
- tumblr addict: Friends and family occupy the time that could be spent on tumblr.
so tonight my philosophy professor had these nasty bruises all over her arms and she stopped mid-lecture to say “sorry you guys have to look at my bruised-up body, my friend brought a stripper pole over for thanksgiving and that shit is not easy. tip your strippers. tip your strippers well” and then immediately kept talking about philosophy